Moochie The Slacker Sloth Stuffed Animal Is Our Secret Hero

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Moochie The Slacker Sloth Stuffed Animal can be a workaholics aspiration or a slackers affirmation.

Moochie The Slacker Sloth was just like everyone else early in life.  He wanted to be a pop star, stop worldwide hunger, and be the next silicon valley billionaire, but then he quickly realized those things took too much work.  He saw the stress of carpool lanes, being tied to a calendar that is never empty, and student loans that are worth more than his home, then decided "Responsibility Sucks!"

The Submission to Slackhood

So, the phlegmatic figure blazed his own trail of nothingness.  He came to the sad realization that keeping the couch cushion warm was more important than making himself a meal.  Life in the slow lane is where Moochie The Slacker Sloth prefers to be, after all, watching all others zoom by in the fast lane saves gas money.  The life of low expectations is his peak of existence, where every tick of the clock only means it is one second closer to bedtime.

Soon, this brute of negligence could barely render enough motivation to dress himself.  He donned his white tank top and quickly gave up after thinking "what's the point of pants?"  He found true happiness just sitting pantless with a beer and a cigarette, completely untethered to any hint of personal drive.

The Envy of the World's Pack Mules

The Moochie The Slacker Sloth soft stuffed animal epitomizes a guilt free, stagnant way of life we realize is impossible, but, secretly long for on occasion.  He is the occasional desire of the workaholic and a beer buddy for those who are friendless.  Moochie also stands as a future telling symbol for those who want to make $20 bucks an hour but refuse to gain job knowledge or skills.

Moochie is happiest left alone to meld into forgotten history, but can be enjoyed any time some serious chilling out is in order.  The sluggish sloth is happy to roll with anything you desire as long as it is stress free.  However, you may want to help him get some pants on this soft cuddly doll before he goes anywhere.

Moochie the Slacker Sloth is 12.5 inches in height, and comes with all the lackadaisical essentials of a sedentary life.  The beer bottle and cigarette attach with velcro patches.  He also comes complete with a gift tag to personalize your gift.

 

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